when the soul speaks...
I open my eyes and I look but tears blind my view. I lift my hand dreamily and wipe them away. I try to look again and dream of justice, of education, of an honest laugh, of a better future, of freedom, of who will set my nation (my Ummah) free & silently hope to live through the years to see it happen...
I sigh, brood, hope and wait. I read- lest it turn my days pages over- to get prepared, educated and aware. I read more maybe to strengthen my heart that has felt far much more pain that it should've at such a young age of mine.
The tears can't stop and I struggle hard to transform them from those of fear to those of hope and beauty. Lifting my gaze to the blue skies, I wonder if one can carry such a burden... a burden of a whole nation, of lovers separated by war, of mothers never to see their sons again, of men leaving home never to come back... of children when asked what do you want to be when you grow up, they'd say: I want to survive... I sit alone and think how can I absorb the pain? If only I can understand it then maybe it would be easier to accept it inside of me... but my pain has no name on it, nor just one country... it has all the stories of those who are gone, the fears of those who are hidden, the hopes of those jailed, and the prayers of women in the dark of the night.
In search of myself amidst all these feelings, I feel my lips turn into a smile. I realize it's a feeling of belonging, of acceptance from my Ummah. I then look forward for what the future holds for me. I look forward to the fight, to the peace, patience, forgiveness and unity.
Willing to start over, I know where my journey will begin. So I take out a map and spread it infront of me... this is no map of countries or seas, but rather a map of my personal history, life and nature. Yes, there- inside of myself - is exactly where I shall start.
I sigh, brood, hope and wait. I read- lest it turn my days pages over- to get prepared, educated and aware. I read more maybe to strengthen my heart that has felt far much more pain that it should've at such a young age of mine.
The tears can't stop and I struggle hard to transform them from those of fear to those of hope and beauty. Lifting my gaze to the blue skies, I wonder if one can carry such a burden... a burden of a whole nation, of lovers separated by war, of mothers never to see their sons again, of men leaving home never to come back... of children when asked what do you want to be when you grow up, they'd say: I want to survive... I sit alone and think how can I absorb the pain? If only I can understand it then maybe it would be easier to accept it inside of me... but my pain has no name on it, nor just one country... it has all the stories of those who are gone, the fears of those who are hidden, the hopes of those jailed, and the prayers of women in the dark of the night.
In search of myself amidst all these feelings, I feel my lips turn into a smile. I realize it's a feeling of belonging, of acceptance from my Ummah. I then look forward for what the future holds for me. I look forward to the fight, to the peace, patience, forgiveness and unity.
Willing to start over, I know where my journey will begin. So I take out a map and spread it infront of me... this is no map of countries or seas, but rather a map of my personal history, life and nature. Yes, there- inside of myself - is exactly where I shall start.
أقول من التعجب ليت شِعرى
أأيقاظ أمية أم نيام؟
فإن كانوا لحينهم نيام
فقل قوموا فقد حان القيام
**inspired by what Twosret showed us http://www.zippyvideos.com/7498406264945506/amn ***
Lovely post Jannah. I have been avoiding putting up personal information or e-mail due to insults, harassement from some. It is very hard to be Arab-American. I looked for your e-mail address to e-mail you but couldn't find one.
I love your creativity and your poetry like post. I think we share many emotions about this. Feel free to write here your questions about my posts.
This blog seems to have good content already. Keep blogging girlfriend :) LOVE the design. very very cute
Posted by
Twosret |
7:11 AM
Beautiful post.
Posted by
Lubna |
8:56 AM
Salaam,
I came to your blog after reading your lovely comments.
Your writing is very beautiful and I have linked you on my blog.
Posted by
Safiya Outlines |
1:07 PM
Nora and Safiya,
Thanks for passing by!
Twosret,
I salute you for your blog posts... They express exactly how I feel, only yours more professional...
I was so confused about the reason behind the Israeli soldier killings until last year when my friend read me out of the "Tawrah" that any blood other than Jew deserves to be killed... that others are considered pigs and described as such in their Book...that a Jew is the most purest of all humans... that it is not allowed to steal from any Jew, only from others... and so on. It is in their culture, surprisingly, it's as if they see these killings as a way to get more religious!!!!!!!!!
That got me deep!
N.B. I won't yet be publishing my e-mail, coz it has my full name in its address, so I guess I could make a new one just for bloggers lol, then youll see it on my profile :)
Posted by
Jannah |
2:01 PM