Saturday, December 30, 2006

To "Dhany" or not to "Dhany"?

As for me... I just eat macaroni & meat sauce + salad! No Dhany, Kersha, Moza or Kaware3 for moi!! hehe... I'll just enjoy watching the rest of the family eat the Lovely Fatta & declare how yummy it tastes and how it's about time for me to start eating it & all that. Haha okay probably next year :) :)

Happy Eid everyone... may this Eid be a start of happiness to all muslims around the world. May it bring peace to our hearts, love to the poor, forgiveness to all those who harmed us setting us free, letting us move on leading better lives. I wish for peace here, there and everywhere!

I'm smiling now... please SMILE while reading this... and everyone else who smiles along with us will join in our little smiling circle! So let's all SMIIIIIIIIILE & forget the future, the past and the present... SMILE & let go... PLEASE let go, free yourself, join in with us and simply SMIIIIILEEE :D:D:D

Oh & don't forget to tell me... What'll you eat this Eid? Dhany: With or against?:D

See Ya!!!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Bits "n" Pieces

Here I am, my head crammed with thoughts, not letting me write a direct single topic! I wonder what do mentally organized people feel when reading my randomly expressed feelings?! I shan't wonder lol. I'll just write 'em down, feel better,(or worse haha I still don't know what'll get down here) then move on, find peace and live happily ever after :D (advice: if you fear disorientation, try reading a paragraph a day! -seriously)

YAAAY Good news! My big sister's engagement is in 2 months inshAllah! Her Fiance is her friend's brother who took one look at her and didn't doubt a minute that he wanted to propose. He proposed about 2 months ago, she had to see him alot to get to know him better, liked him, and finally agreed to his proposal. OK here's the real picture. He loves her but loves himself more .She wants to love him back but keeps on telling me that she needs time to give her heart to someone so she's taking everything slowly. I'm glad she just likes him back, coz if anything happened before the engagement she wouldn't have a nervous breakdown. If it was up to me, I'd tell her love him later when you're SURE about him 100%, but then how can love get controlled? To all the fellow romantics out there, I know the above theory is totally against our love vision but I tend to get fearful over my family alot, that I wouldn't want them to go through anything hurtful even if it's LOVE!

Little sister's health is getting better alHamdullellah. The nutrition program she's following has made great progress in her therapy. She doesn't pray though. Doesn't want to take Qur'aan lessons, tries to skip Religion class at school, and has become a demanding maniac wanting everything she sees. I'm not a child-disciplining pro here, left that to my parents.
LS (little sis): Let me take that scarf in my room, I like it there.
Me: Take it habibty (my dear). Would you like to pray with it today?
LS: No I'll just put it on my chair.
Me: Oh ok. (will not push her into praying)
LS: I'll pray tomorrow.
Me: Why not today?
LS: Tired ( tired of watching 6 hours of disney channel I guess) and not in the mood.
Me: Allah loves you, but He will love you more if you pray you know.
LS: I know. Why do you want me to pray?
Me: Habibty I want you to pray only if you want to pray. Praying is something between you and Allah, I've got no business there.
LS: Ok. I know. Good night.
Me: Good night.

My parents don't push us religiously at all. They'd just say something and sleep on it for months. I just hope she'd start soon and not miss a good teenage start. I didn't have that. I was a crazy stubborn teenager, and I kinda missed that innocence of being good all along.

Yesterday she had a salsa class at school, and the only reason why she didn't dance with the boys was coz the boys (being 12) thought it a horrible idea to dance with the girls! LS said " Ana mkansh fare2 m3aya, homa ely bawazo el program" ( I don't care if I danced with them, they screwed up the program). I thought to myself, why would she not care if she danced with boys? Doesn't she KNOW that she shouldn't do that?!! After a while I just said "It would have been alot more classy if the girls refused instead of the opposite".

Homeless children. So now they're everywhere in the city. I just saw 2 of them today and couldn't help but STARE from my car window! They stared back, there was no connection. My look of surprise & curiousity was responded by a sarcastic smile & a confident lift of the head. Like as if telling me: Yea you have a car, a home and a family, but we bet the likes of us are much happier than the likes of you!
I just watched an interview with one of them and guess what? No don't guess, you won't believe it!!! They have E-MAILs, and they CHAT on msn!!!! Are they dangerous? Yes, The Turbeeny guy ( a famous homeless guy) has killed 60, and raped all the other homeless kids! Yet today I didn't fear them, I felt that I wanted to talk to them & help them. Maybe they just need someone who cares. Who knows how emotionally destroyed these young children are? Will the government ever manage to treat & help them? Does the government even care? That I do not know. I don't care what the government does anyways. The charity care homes are doing their best to gather and educate them. I'll check, maybe they need volunteers, maybe I can help.

The "Words of Mine" quotes were mostly a nostalgia about a very respectful guy I used to work with in an activity project for 9 months. Our team was the best. We were heads in a workshop, supervising 80 other students. We were so busy, he never crossed my mind as anything other than one of the best personalities I've ever met. Calm under stress, confident, patient with my continuous worry that the job is never good enough, VERY protective, courageous, lol shy... etc. I didn't have time to think of him at all. Then after our project was over, everythin went back to normal. Us being very straight, we didn't talk since except when really neccessary. But there's always the tension when we see eachother. You know, the looking away, looking back and all that. He asks my older sister about me alot. Once when I was giving him the last papers left over after the project, he told me " I don't see your car parked down your building" (was when it got crashed, what's he got to do with my car and my building?), and he added "Take care, your street is dark at night, try not to come home late, guys smoke drugs there" I brushed the situation away. And the other day he was giving me a poster, and I was quite not myself, he came afterwards saying, "malek ya ... bas, za3lana menny leh?" ( why are you mad at me?), I just answered that I did bad in the exam & was in a bad mood nyahaha!

Will try not to make a big deal out of it. Will try to ignore thinking of him. Will try telling myself that there are many out there who could be better than him, he's probably not the best. That there's nothing, I should move on. I do pray to Allah alot to not let me fall for anyone other than the one destined to be my husband. It has been a hard job protecting my heart, and I'm willing to lose it but when everything is clear and Halal.

However, maybe it's a test. If I will really be proper for the sake of Allah and stay on my side of the limits or not. It'll pass. inshAllah it will!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Words of mine

Sometimes a brief acquaintance could leave a much deeper print than a real friendship would.

It's that they were friends once & now strangers, that they can't move on.

I would've been different if only I knew. I never knew. Maybe I'll never know.

Difficult it is, to smile firmly when your heart is trembling.

Looking away when all you desire is to look back is a struggle, a battle that only few can win in.

Your memories hold you back, your ambitions push you forward. Follow your dreams but don't let go of the old days.

and finally...

Everyone comes into this world with a little star in their hearts. Some sense it, appreciate it and surround it with goodness. Others sheild their eyes from its brightness to protect themselves, not knowing that the strong light hurts, yes, but carries all what is good and pure.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

They call it "coincidence"

Randomly, here are a few unintended situations that I have passed through during the past 2 weeks or less.

My downstairs neighbor was making a hell of a noise, me, already with my head pounding from a headache, couldn't study from the noise he was making ( He was bringing down a room with all the noisy metal devices people use to break walls with). So I automatically opened my window to take a look at what they're doing and this is what comes out of my mouth, " What are they smashing, may their heads get smashed?" ( Homa beykasaro eh Allah ykassar demaghhom!)... to my luck, my neighbor is standing right below my window and is looking up to see who has just said that in his face... I quickly close the curtains, I didn't know he was standing right there! I laugh my head off to my parents, my dad tells me he'll tell him it was my little sister who said that haha. The man (narrow-minded yes) confronts my father about what I said, my daddy laughs and tells him: 3eyal ya 3am ( They're just kids!).

I had an 8 a.m class, 8:20 I arrive with a dozen of other late sleepy folks. We enter the class to hear the Demonstrator shouting, screaming and in the worst mood ever. My friends and I on our way to our seat were talking (everyone was talking!), and... ( you know when suddenly the crowd goes silent at the exact time you're saying something real loud? been there? you're not alone...) "I hate it when people yell at 8 a.m, why not noon? noon is much better for yelling!!" and I add, " Battal ze3ee2 yabny!" (Son, quit yelling!) They all look back to where that confident- gonna-get-screwed voice is coming from! I, still standing, with all those eyes on me (including the yelling demonstrator who stopped to stare as well) simply smile at them...

To my misery, the man knows my name ( I don't know from where), and tells me that he'll make sure to delay his yelling to noon if only I'd come on time and pay attention to him and stop studying other subjects during his class!

"Yes, Dr." I smile again.
I do smile when embarrassed how can I help it?
From then on, till the end of the term, he would stop during class to check out what am I doing, and if the correct papers were infront of me, and if I had any questions.
My class (80 sth students) already want to kill me.

To my great fortune, before almost every exam, the chapters I revise are the ones that come in the exam, and those that I ignore don't come. ElHamdullellaaah, 7 more finals left till the end of the term... I hope Allah's mercy on my mind and memory would overflow on me, my colleagues and all those under the horrible stress of examinations.

After a few years of hiding my real age to the ones younger than me academically (but older than me by age), they found out, and now I have 2 younger guys who have a crush on me. Just what I wanted! Uff! One even wrote me a poem, put it in my books and ran. When will they grow up? I don't care if they're older by age, they ARE younger academically, and thus NO HOPE for them. Oh please, leave me alone!

Monday, December 11, 2006

and I'm back

Salam alaikom everyone!

It has been a while, over a month now. I hope I didn't worry any of you, every thing is fine. My dsl modem got broke so we took a little break till we bought the new one. Thanks my dear bloggy friends for asking about me when I was gone, I only saw your emails yesterday :) so forgive me for answering late.

Right now I'm so eager to catch up everything I missed on your blogs! I missed them so much!
So a litte while and I'll post about me... over a month wow!

see ya all soon!

Not much

  • I'm Jannah
  • From Cairo, Egypt
  • If I am as honest as I know how to be, I may discover here as I write, day after day, something in myself, something of my own nature... that I might otherwise not be aware of...
That's it

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