Saturday, April 21, 2007

There She Goes Again

WOW it's been a while since I've last blogged! OK... salam alaikum first :)

Hope everything is going on fine with all of you...

I'm starting my final FINALS in 20 days, this is the last term ever inshAllah, after that, we're all on our own. I'm filled with excitement @ the thought of graduation. It's like telling a prisoner "Man, your jailtime is over, you're FREE!". Like a prisoner, I'm a lil bit confused at the life out there, the thoughts aren't clear yet... the picture is quite foggy... but nevertheless, ANYTHING is hopefully better than being a student in one of the most difficult faculties in the country! So, in that area of my life... ME JUST CAN'T WAIT!

In another area, however, I've discovered that I'm the most picky person any man can propose to! Which is aweful, you know, I never thought of myself as picky. I hate picky people & I've never been picky in my life... till just 2 months ago... when after my sister's engagement,lots of suiters started proposing. I explain the reasons to myself, & I'm quite convinced actually. You see, if you live in Cairo, then I guess you know the picture. If you don't, then you don't.

For eg.
Suiter number 1:Engineer. 32 yrs old. Proposed the moment he saw me. Friend of sister's fiance. Not religious.
There's nothing wrong with being 32 yrs old. But I'm 20 you see? 12 yrs difference is alot in my eyes. Plus, he's not religious.

Suiter number 2: Ophthalmologist (Eye Doctor). 27 yrs old. Again, the moment he saw me. Friend of sister's fiance. Prays ever Friday.

Suiter number 3: Engineer. 25 yrs old. Friend of sister's fiance. Party Guy. Doesn't pray.

Suiter number 4: Engineer. 29 yrs old. From KSA. His mother proposed once she saw me.
(Aw come on, Egyptian men have a charm, a lovely spirit, and are real men. Plus, I didn't even understand a word the woman said... my mother had to translate! Is he supposed to tell me Good morning, and I say WHAT, plz translate? hehe! In addition to that, leaving the country is out of question, even if it's with an Egyptian man. )

Suiter number 5: Pharmacist.21 yrs old. Student with me. Very religious & very in love.
My father refused to meet any undergraduates. Plus, on the scale of attraction, I score zero with this guy!

.... Ok.. let me stop here, and put down some notes. Here's what I saw from my analysis to those and the others. There aren't any rules, these are just a few criteria that may be true:
  • If the man is muslim, then it doesn't necessarily mean that he prays. Those, are mostly good-looking. Their personality, not attractive.
  • If the man is muslim + he prays, he may not be religious either & most probably has no religious ambitions. Also, could be good looking & open minded, has a good personality. ( Sister's fiance, stands here.)
  • If the man is muslim + he prays + he's religious, then he doesn't want you working, he wants your life to be all about your husband, and your kids. Ambitions, are not allowed. You're not superwoman, and your job never was to fix the country. Fix your home first. I forgot to add, that this kind never gets satisfied either.
Can't a girl wish for a muslim, who prays, has respectful morals, a great personality(including romantic, ambitious, hard worker, and tender), is open-minded, AND RELIGIOUS??? Are those characters, that I dream to be in my future husband, so hard to find?

No, they're not hard to find. Because, in came suiter number 11, with all those in him, but... I scared him away! HAHA (laughing out of disappointment in myself)... I don't believe I did that!

First, how did I get to know him?
Last year, when we were working in a conference, he was part of the team. He was one year older, so now he's working. I noticed him, yes, because he'd always come and help me, or solve any issues for me. But I never noticed he had feelings for me. I was so busy in getting things done. Then after a year, when he'd already started working at a great job, he came to college and saw me. He said Hi, and since I don't talk to guys at college, I kept it short. But I noticed, just then, that this guy has some feelings or is up to something.(aha.. i read eye language)

On the attraction scale from 1 to 10, my attraction towards him scores 20! Which is a good sign, to me, bec. I came to a point when I didn't get attracted to any of the others, and thought, is there sth wrong with me?

Anyways, I did scare him away, by not agreeing to meet him @ college. He kept on trying to convince me, saying that it's important, & that it will surprise me. I didn't change my opinion. Then he said, it's about a 3arees ( a suiter), and that he has to tell me face to face, it's the only right way, and to my surprise, my reply was: My principles (that I don't meet guys) are more important than any topic! OMG... Yes I'm glad I stood up for my principles. & if he's really serious he could find a way... he knows my sister, his sister knows me... whatever, he should think of sth.
But my engaged sister, when she heard this, told me " you have just driven away the best man that has ever come knocking at your door, I bet now he fears rejection more than anything!, you could have just agreed, and I would have come with you, so u wouldn't have been alone with him, & that's not against ur principles (yes she's right, but I didn't think of that alternative at the time) ... anyways... he'll come again. I don't think he'll let go that easily."
and my answers were... if he wants to let go, Let Him! and if he's really driven away, then that is Allah's will... so alhamdullelah for anything & everything!

Another reason for refusing to meet him (other than my scary principles, yes), is that I knew that I'd get all blushy, red, and shy listening & seeing him propose face-to-face. I know I won't stand strong & tall while he says it & I don't want him to notice that. Not just now.

Ah well... a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, and a man's gotta wonder when he'll ever get through! HAHA!

Lastly, I've prayed istekhara, and have complete yaqin that if he's "the one", Allah will let him try again, and if he's not, then elhamdulellah, I don't wish for anything other than Allah's will. I know that what is in store for me is better than I've been hoping for. Please pray for me.

may Allah choose what's best for all of us, see all soon.


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Not much

  • I'm Jannah
  • From Cairo, Egypt
  • If I am as honest as I know how to be, I may discover here as I write, day after day, something in myself, something of my own nature... that I might otherwise not be aware of...
That's it

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