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Blind for a minute

3 days ago I was in the Eye surgery Clinic to sign up for the Lasik Eye Surgery. Since childhood I've been forced to drag myself along with eye glasses. Every year I'd buy a new one, until over the years I got used to it on my face. When I was 10 I wanted so much to wear lenses, but due to health risks, I got a big no no for my most wanted request.

I turned 16, got into college and it was finally safe for me to use those magical transparent lenses I've always dreamed of. Every 6 months, I'd buy 6 new pairs that would get disposed every month. There was always the feeling of exhaustion in and around my eyes due to wearing them for long continuous hours for so many days in a row. There was NO WAY that I was going to go out with my glasses again, so my lenses had to cope with the extra and super-extra load I had forced on it for me to simply SEE.

Ok, back to the Lasik surgery. Every one was saying how simple it was. "You won't feel a thing!" was the most common quote heard from many patients. "Just don't move... if you move, your eyes will screw up- NEVER MOVE YOUR HEAD!"... people went on and on about how the operation was a piece of cake bla bla bla. Even the Dr. took his turn; oh those pretty eyes will be just fine, he assured me.

So everything was dreamy weamy including my mood. I was sure that I won't feel a thing.

In I went into the operation room and layed myself down on the patient bed. The Dr. started whistling & singing something that had the words "beautiful eyes" in its lyrics, probably to cheer me up.

Dr: ...hmmm... gamal 3oyoono.. hmm (humming the song).
I place the back of my head on a special cushion set for it. A huge wide device slowly moves over my head.

Dr: Listen to every word I say during the operation. DON'T MOVE at all.
Me: Yes Dr.
Dr: You'll be just fine, habibti.
Me: I'm fine. Let's start.
His assistant drops an anaesthetic into my eye that hurt like hell. After a while, I can't evern feel my eye.
She wipes a sterile green thingy all over my face. I can't remember its' name.

Operation starts.
Dr. still humming.
I try to relax and ease the stiffness in my neck, back of my head, back and stomach but fail to ease or ignore the nerves.
They plaster both my upper and lower eyelashes to the skin beneath them so that my eyes wouldn't blink.

Dr.: Look at the green light. and don't look at anything else no matter what happens.
I look at the green light that flashes so near to my eye.

I just discovered that this entry is getting longer than was intended when I first started to write it. However, it is fun boring myself and people with the very unneccessary introduction ever, especially when the whole point of the post has not been introduced yet hehe!

Moving on...

They start with my right eye.
The Laser beam operates, giving an aweful chemical electrical smell + a loud steady noise. I continue looking at the green light with my right eye ( my left being covered).

Dr.: Open your eyes wider.
I give it my best shot.

Then after a while, I see nothing.
Not the device, not the white light around its edges, not the green light... nothing. My eyes were hurting me so much and I saw black.
The Dr. didn't prepare me or say anything about not seeing ANYTHING. That it's okay and I shouldn't panic.

So I did exactly the opposite. I panicked. I moved my head and I couldn't lie still. The Dr, his assistant, and other assistant- screamed at the same time. NOOOOOO DON'T MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEEEE YOUUR HEEEEEEAAAAAADDDD.

I could still see nothing... stiffed myself into stillness and thought like a baby; I want my mommy and I want to get out of here! haha.

The operators calmed down after that, my sight returned too, along with a stress headache and a racing heartbeat pounding in my ears.

Everything went fine after that. My left eye was much easier coz I knew when I'd see black and I was calm thank God.

What surprised me was the first thought that rushed through my head when I first experienced seeing nothing with my right eye.

It was: Is this how blind people feel? Under surgery, I felt my suffocation increase just by thinking of blind people! I've always carried an inner sympathy in me towards them, sometimes imagining how they live through their days, months and years ...

Sympathizing with others is something. Thinking about them UNDER SURGERY is another. What, did I have to feel sorry for them NOW? Why not after I'm done with the surgery?

I don't know, but thinking about them then stiffed me more and could have harmed my lovely eyes. We shouldn't ever let feelings control us so strongly. Feelings are good. We can't live without them. but having them at a higher rate than normal and at the absolute wrong time could be very damaging to both our physical & mental health.

On the medical non-freaky side, there is a very logical explanation for what happened to me during the surgery. That the nurse FORGOT to give me the Anxiolytic (mohade2) and sedative (monawem) that is essential to be given to all patients to calm down their nerves. Welcome to Egypt!!! Since, I am an Egyptian too, so I managed to give her a hard time after the operation- when it was just too late! Welcome again to Egypt :-)

i thnk many of us thought before how blins ppl live . . for me as i live a lone from six years i tryed this once .. when i got back from work .. i opened the tv and there was "scent of woman" on the TV, after i finished the brilliant movie, i decided to feel like blind ppl to see how does it feel, i covered my eyes with strip of cloth and start to walk in the flat.

the first hour was horrible, i broke some things . . then i started to get used to the dark, my memory was so steady to remember where things are .

after a while, i concluded that if one been born blind , its a lot easier than being healthy and then become blind.

the experiene i did was so freaky, but i always thiking , how are retarded ppl live their lives !!

it is tragic that the nurse forgot to give u the sedative then.. but i still think you're quite lucky coz the doctor didn't forget something in ur eyes!

nurses and docs neglicance is one of the egyptian tragedies..

two things remain, first i agree with salateeno in that i'd better be born blind to become blind.. finally, despite all troubles caused by the glasses, i'll NEVER use lenses under any circumstances..


OH MY GOD! I am shocked by your real experience... may God bless you with the best eye sight ever...

Your trial was very sensual and humane mashAllah- I wouldn't imagine myself doing that.

and yes I too agree with your conclusion. Well said :)

2alam gaf,

Yea remember the scissors and towels being left in patient's guts for years after a simple surgery?

about the lenses, I think any harm I have caused myself was due to misusing them.

why wouldn't you ever wear them?

good question :)

my eyes are "bet7ra'ni" with almost no reason, quite red.. some "romoosh" fall in them, sometimes dust, u can say that they are quite more sensitive.. if this is the case of a remsh or a tiny particle of dust, how about a lense?

sensitivity or allergy (correct me if u spelled it incorrectly)are among the lead causes that lead many people to be leanient of, or even fully discard, using lenses as an alternatives for the regular glasses..

Jannah..How r u now???hope u r fine after this experience..and tell me how it feels seeing everything clearly without glasses or lenses..coz that's exactly my misery with both of them..I wear glasses @ home and bec. I hate how I look in glasses+veil..I replaced them lately with lenses which I hate the most coz they prevent me from reading outdoors when I'm really ready to enjoy myself

I was thinking of lasik..but thank God ur post made me forget all abt it..I'm not ready to go through all this..I hate surgeries..

And thanx hun for asking abt me in my first day..the problem is that till now I didn't have any first days at all..I spent the last 3 days @ home..bas isA 2morrow is the day ;)

7amdellah 3ala elsalama

@2alam gaf

I can understand why you wouldn't wear them. If you have your lenses on and dust got in- it will hurt a little more than if there was dust alone without lenses. That's why lenses have precautions such as: never use them in a sandstorm.

Plus ya 2alam gaf, I think guys look quite good in glasses than girls+ veil+ glasses. so you have nothing to worry about!

Dearest Enny Rahela,

I feel GREAT hamdullah. I can see perfectly! The possibility of seeing myself clearly in a mirror every morning when washing my face or brushing my teeth is a DREAM COME TRUE to me! trust me, it was worth it esp. when every eye take 2 minutes of surgery. Stressful, yes, but the results let you forget the whole thing.

About your lenses, why can't you read with them? are they not accurate enough?

Have a nice first day sis!

My Jd had Lasik and loves not wearing contacts and glasses anymore. I think anyone who does it is pretty damn brave. I doubt I'd have the courage to lie still while someone lasered my eyes. Fortunately I've never needed glasses or anything. Knock on wood I never will.
Thanks for the tips on macrobiotics. I'll look into it but from what I know so far the food sounds kind of gross.

I just want to wish you RAMADAN MUBARAK! May Allah bless you - always!

Jane, I'm glad your neck pain got better!

About the macrobiotics, I guess the bloggerworld need more tips on it. Its effects are AMAZING!
I will also give you an idea about the kind of food we all eat under their program. Then you're free to decide!

Karin :)
I'm so pleased you visited here! Thank you for your lovely wish. Wishing you all the BEST, and may Allah be pleased with all your most effective beautiful articles.

RAMADAN MUBARAK every one :)

i've been using lenses for 2 years now..almost everyday and thx god ma3ndeesh mashakel..
it is relative..msh kol el nas 3neeha zay ba3d

P.S. 1
7mdallah 3ala salmtek :)

P.S 2
this template looks like PJs...u don't think of changing it?

Thanks Walaa, Allah yesalemek :)

LOL PJs! Now that you mentioned it, it does look like PJs, but cute ones so I'll keep it for a while before I prove Enny Rahela right and change it.

Wow!! You described everything that happened to me exactly Jannah! I also thought I'd gone blind and believed it!! My lasik surgery was just like that. I, too, had been wearing contact lenses for many years before that.

But my nurse gave me no sedative or anything of the like either, so we are even :-)

Kol sana wenty tayyeba.

A very comic story , you made me laugh in the part you called for your mother.
It is funny cause I accompanied one of my friends while doing a similar operation and he is good now.
10000000000 hamdella 3ala elsalama

Oh My, Mystery we are SO even! 7amdellah 3la salamtek ya gameel :)

Allah ysalemak thank you! w 7amdellah 3la salamet your friend.

Sorry I know it's too late but ... 7amdellah 3ala salamtek.

Allah yesallemek ya Nesrina! Thank you for passing by :)

interesting story...i was thinking of doing that laser thing in my eye but after reading what you went through its out of the question...

nice blog you got here, i'm looking forward for ur new posts:)

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  • I'm Jannah
  • From Cairo, Egypt
  • If I am as honest as I know how to be, I may discover here as I write, day after day, something in myself, something of my own nature... that I might otherwise not be aware of...
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