Growing Up
Amongst every 2 friends there is always one who loves the other more. One who would want the other happier more. One who would think of the other more. One who would pray for the other more.
Inside your relationship you don't notice which one of those 2 is you. You go out , have fun and study together. You're so busy with other friends, events and plans. But that friend is the dearest to your heart. You don't know why, still busy, you don't even notice.
Then one day, something happens and your realizition hits you in the face. I glanced at my friend and found her crying. I had no idea what was wrong with her but the inner urge to fight my tears for her tears was unbearable. After the lecture, I, with another friend did the following different reactions:
My reaction: Comforted her first then asked her what's wrong with her
the other one's Rx: tell me tell me tell me!
My crying friend then pulled her hand and took her aside to tell her why she's crying, not even noticing my presence.
In a matter of split seconds, all my friends gathered and we sat, talked and had fun as we do always. Giving them my best smile, I thought about my new discovery that I'm not even on her list, just someone with things-in-common , fun-to-be-with and hell-so-helpful. I caught myself getting hurt by this discovery and the thought of heartaching so quick bothered me.
I then remembered Rudyard Kipling in his outstanding poem IF about manhood:
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much;
and the bigger realization hit me hard: I ain't man enough yet. Not internally a mature grown-up yet. But I fixed that part inside of me. The part that cares what others feel towards me. I will now, just the same, treat her as I always did, but for the sake of doing good not waiting or caring for anything in return.
With that done, I've yet a long way to my inner sanity. To understanding myself well enough not to suddenly get shocked by my unneccessary feelings. I'd rather save my tears for the poor, sick and needy. For those in real pain.
i was so touched with this post !
i realy dont know how could you see through human nature like that ??
i think you are so talented in doing so . yourd words makes me recall all my relationships with my friends to start to categorize my friends according to the standards you have just mentioned.
and ofcourse see where am i standing in those relationsships too.
Posted by
salateenoo |
2:15 PM
As Salateenoo says: I think you're big enough and man enough in making such a realization.
Everyone hurts if such a thing happens but it's rationalising like that which makes you a great person. Don't lose heart!
Posted by
Anonymous |
6:03 PM
you are a very sensitive person Jannah and such persons always get hurt from people without even being noticed but don't worry one day after finishing your studies and after going deep into life with its burdens and troubles you are going to see your freinds in a better way and only the good faithfull ones will stay in touch with you, but you never feel sorry for something good you felt for someone cause one day the person will realize that feeling and love never goes away dear.
Posted by
Unknown |
9:47 AM
Jannah,
I Tagged you on my latest topic. Please check my blog.
Posted by
Twosret |
7:38 PM
Salateeno,
Thank you so much! I really don't mean to analyze human nature so clearly and I'm glad it helped you along the way! Please, If you noticed new bonds or standards in such friendships, don't hesitate to tell us about it.
Ha ana Za,
thank you :) Hamdullah I didn't lose heart, the world hasn't left its print on me yet. and afterall, I still care about her very dearly inspite of this friendship analysis I told you about!
Hechkok
"after going deep into life with its burdens and troubles you are going to see your freinds in a better way and only the good faithfull ones will stay in touch with you,"
I feel much better now. I will wait till years afterwards when whoever was a true friend will stick around inshAllah. I am grateful to your words, they got right through me.
and finally to my friend Twosret,
So you happen to be the first person to ever tag me! honoured and working on it. c ya :)
Posted by
Jannah |
8:01 PM
although you didn't like my words this was the only simple truth I realized in my life , i had lots of friends and some of them I considered as brothers but in the end I came up with only 2 and the rest were regular people for me but after staying together for long time we became closer firends thats why i told you by time :(
Posted by
Unknown |
5:09 AM
Awwww Hechkok, did I say I didn't like your words?
In fact I was grateful for your words, they showed me that I need not bother at all and with time I'll know who was true and who wasn't. el7amdollah, it helped me be patient! Thank you so much.. kalamak 3ein el 3a2l :)
Posted by
Jannah |
11:58 PM