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Bits "n" Pieces

Here I am, my head crammed with thoughts, not letting me write a direct single topic! I wonder what do mentally organized people feel when reading my randomly expressed feelings?! I shan't wonder lol. I'll just write 'em down, feel better,(or worse haha I still don't know what'll get down here) then move on, find peace and live happily ever after :D (advice: if you fear disorientation, try reading a paragraph a day! -seriously)

YAAAY Good news! My big sister's engagement is in 2 months inshAllah! Her Fiance is her friend's brother who took one look at her and didn't doubt a minute that he wanted to propose. He proposed about 2 months ago, she had to see him alot to get to know him better, liked him, and finally agreed to his proposal. OK here's the real picture. He loves her but loves himself more .She wants to love him back but keeps on telling me that she needs time to give her heart to someone so she's taking everything slowly. I'm glad she just likes him back, coz if anything happened before the engagement she wouldn't have a nervous breakdown. If it was up to me, I'd tell her love him later when you're SURE about him 100%, but then how can love get controlled? To all the fellow romantics out there, I know the above theory is totally against our love vision but I tend to get fearful over my family alot, that I wouldn't want them to go through anything hurtful even if it's LOVE!

Little sister's health is getting better alHamdullellah. The nutrition program she's following has made great progress in her therapy. She doesn't pray though. Doesn't want to take Qur'aan lessons, tries to skip Religion class at school, and has become a demanding maniac wanting everything she sees. I'm not a child-disciplining pro here, left that to my parents.
LS (little sis): Let me take that scarf in my room, I like it there.
Me: Take it habibty (my dear). Would you like to pray with it today?
LS: No I'll just put it on my chair.
Me: Oh ok. (will not push her into praying)
LS: I'll pray tomorrow.
Me: Why not today?
LS: Tired ( tired of watching 6 hours of disney channel I guess) and not in the mood.
Me: Allah loves you, but He will love you more if you pray you know.
LS: I know. Why do you want me to pray?
Me: Habibty I want you to pray only if you want to pray. Praying is something between you and Allah, I've got no business there.
LS: Ok. I know. Good night.
Me: Good night.

My parents don't push us religiously at all. They'd just say something and sleep on it for months. I just hope she'd start soon and not miss a good teenage start. I didn't have that. I was a crazy stubborn teenager, and I kinda missed that innocence of being good all along.

Yesterday she had a salsa class at school, and the only reason why she didn't dance with the boys was coz the boys (being 12) thought it a horrible idea to dance with the girls! LS said " Ana mkansh fare2 m3aya, homa ely bawazo el program" ( I don't care if I danced with them, they screwed up the program). I thought to myself, why would she not care if she danced with boys? Doesn't she KNOW that she shouldn't do that?!! After a while I just said "It would have been alot more classy if the girls refused instead of the opposite".

Homeless children. So now they're everywhere in the city. I just saw 2 of them today and couldn't help but STARE from my car window! They stared back, there was no connection. My look of surprise & curiousity was responded by a sarcastic smile & a confident lift of the head. Like as if telling me: Yea you have a car, a home and a family, but we bet the likes of us are much happier than the likes of you!
I just watched an interview with one of them and guess what? No don't guess, you won't believe it!!! They have E-MAILs, and they CHAT on msn!!!! Are they dangerous? Yes, The Turbeeny guy ( a famous homeless guy) has killed 60, and raped all the other homeless kids! Yet today I didn't fear them, I felt that I wanted to talk to them & help them. Maybe they just need someone who cares. Who knows how emotionally destroyed these young children are? Will the government ever manage to treat & help them? Does the government even care? That I do not know. I don't care what the government does anyways. The charity care homes are doing their best to gather and educate them. I'll check, maybe they need volunteers, maybe I can help.

The "Words of Mine" quotes were mostly a nostalgia about a very respectful guy I used to work with in an activity project for 9 months. Our team was the best. We were heads in a workshop, supervising 80 other students. We were so busy, he never crossed my mind as anything other than one of the best personalities I've ever met. Calm under stress, confident, patient with my continuous worry that the job is never good enough, VERY protective, courageous, lol shy... etc. I didn't have time to think of him at all. Then after our project was over, everythin went back to normal. Us being very straight, we didn't talk since except when really neccessary. But there's always the tension when we see eachother. You know, the looking away, looking back and all that. He asks my older sister about me alot. Once when I was giving him the last papers left over after the project, he told me " I don't see your car parked down your building" (was when it got crashed, what's he got to do with my car and my building?), and he added "Take care, your street is dark at night, try not to come home late, guys smoke drugs there" I brushed the situation away. And the other day he was giving me a poster, and I was quite not myself, he came afterwards saying, "malek ya ... bas, za3lana menny leh?" ( why are you mad at me?), I just answered that I did bad in the exam & was in a bad mood nyahaha!

Will try not to make a big deal out of it. Will try to ignore thinking of him. Will try telling myself that there are many out there who could be better than him, he's probably not the best. That there's nothing, I should move on. I do pray to Allah alot to not let me fall for anyone other than the one destined to be my husband. It has been a hard job protecting my heart, and I'm willing to lose it but when everything is clear and Halal.

However, maybe it's a test. If I will really be proper for the sake of Allah and stay on my side of the limits or not. It'll pass. inshAllah it will!

congrats on ur older sister's engagement...rabena yetammem bekheer isA...

and also i'm glad ur younger sister is feeling better and i agree with you about not pushing her too much to pray..it might make her be stubborn about it.

I do exactly like you I begin writing and i found i talked in all the issues that are in my head.
Glade for both of your sisters and adore the way you think of them.
About love it is nice to see how a polite opened girl like you deals with the daily like and dislike situations although i am not with you in your vision about love.

Jannah..It's always a pleasure reading ur posts..

LOL..I have the same problem..and the hardest thing after writing lots of unrelated subjects..is finding a suitable topic..Ughhh..I hate choosing a topic..

Congratulations for ur sister..very happy for her..yalla 3o2balek we 3o2balna gamee3an..LOL..

Happy for ur little sister..glad she's getting better..Rabena yetem shefaha InshAllah..about the praying problem..it's kinda hard to decide u know..I personally believe that pushing or forcing her to pray will make her even more stubborn..and she'll argue alot about ur right to do so-ask me about it-..but the point is that ppl think of praying as a sipirtual action-which is true-..but they wait until they really wanna "feel" like praying and then do it..and I guess it doesn't come like this..why are we obliged to learn it from 8???..it's kinda maintaning a routine..it's like u don't have to do the 5 prayers perfectly..but having a connection with Allah is definatly the point..

Anyway..I think that u have to believe that she was brought up in a very good way so sooner or later she'll do the right thing..

"They'd just say something and sleep on it for months."

My family too..

"It would have been alot more classy if the girls refused instead of the opposite".

LOOOOL..girls' actions @ this age r totally unexpectable..but let me ask about something..what do salsa class do at school???..do they teach now salsa instead of Arabic and English or what??..LOL..I guess I would've loved school if there had been any salsa classes..

About Homeless children..that's a very serious problem..and it's actually heart-breaking to see little kids live in the streets and have to face all the dirtiness in the streets-I mean the moral dirtness-..all I can do for them is giving them money..although I may be helping them buying cigarettes or heroine or any bad stuff..they need more help..I just hope I can do anything..gotta think about it seriously..

About the guy..ah please tell me more about it..u know I'm in the mood of romance that I love listening to all these romantic stories..I know nothing is serious or even real..but that's a good start I guess..LOL..I'm making a big deal out of it now..anyway..if he's really a good person like u say-or believe-..let's hope he'll have feelings for ya..rabena yofa2 InshAllah..

loooooool .... mabrook 4 ur sister :D

It would have been alot more classy if the girls refused instead of the opposite".

looool ...bgd eldonia et2alabet :D
ana faker 3la 2ayamna eldonia makanetsh keda 5aaales
nice post ya jannah .. m3 eno tahyeesh shwya ;)

it was very interesting reading over the post....
i loved the conversation between u and ur lil sis...
and bout the homeless ppl...it breaks ma heart everytime i look at them looking at me and im having ma mp3 in ma hand and wearing gloves and a jacket and listening to music and having fun 3al 2a5er and they r sitting on the street asking for money, wearing everything they got and still feeling cold...i just smile to them and give them all the change i got...
and bout ur older sis...alf alf alf mabrook...i no how it feels when ur sis is getting engaged...soo cool huh?...yalla 3o2balak ya gameeeel... ;)...
tc...luv ya...

By the way, 'cuz of loving you fy Allah Jannah, I wanna tell you this hadith:
"aktimo alkhitba wa a'lino annikah"
So engament shouldn't be announced really!!
Love ya :)

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  • I'm Jannah
  • From Cairo, Egypt
  • If I am as honest as I know how to be, I may discover here as I write, day after day, something in myself, something of my own nature... that I might otherwise not be aware of...
That's it

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